Festive recklessness: (Spare a thought)!

“Amma, am sorry I am late for work today, I had an emergency at home,” said my maid with a troubled –voice, a few days ago. When I inquired what went wrong, she told me that she had to rush her 8-year old daughter to the hospital as she hurt herself whilst playing with crackers. Even worse, her daughter’s eyeball was injured and was not sure if this would affect her vision until they administered a few eye-drops and performed a few tests. She sounded helpless, and so was I. A big Thank you to the Lord that her daughter is now out of danger; which the ophthalmologist confirmed a day later. A sigh of relief. Nonetheless, how the maid’s family, especially her daughter, would have felt for the full length of 24 hours, is certainly beyond imagination. Welcome home, Diwali! To this family, real celebration would now mean that her daughter’s vision was not endangered, true luminary delight!
 
Deepavali in quintessence is a festival of lights. Deepa translates into light and vali meaning a row; even simpler, a row of lights it is. There sure are multi-various ways of celebrating this nation-wide festival; it means different things to different families in this Indian-multi-cultural-sub continent. Fire crackers certainly contribute to most of the excitement, people belonging to various age groups equally love to revel in this resounding glory. Fire crackers symbolize the driving away of evil spirits; while in the north it is to denote the return of Lord Rama from his 14-year exile, in the south it is about Lord Krishna killing the demon, Narakasura. The mythological rationale behind this could be anything, yet it’s time that we as a nation, took the time out to spare a thought on how these fire crackers could cause festive recklessness. Keeping decibel levels low so that birds and animals are not affected and pollution to be kept under check, are some tidbits that I read about and listen to each year around this time in the print and electronic media. Well, I know not how many would actually want to spare a thought about the fellow living creatures on the planet; yet a thought that we could ponder over and action stringently, could be over how the fire crackers could be used so as to save fellow human beings! That should make the thinking easier.
 
The West is aped for reasons aplenty, most of the times for some trivia. If there is something we could imbibe from the West and make our celebration a delightful experience, it would be that of using the fire crackers wisely and most of all, with something in their upper-storey. They have fire-cracker bursting sessions too, however they are controlled ones that do not endanger public lives. Every town or county has a common area that is earmarked for this purpose; that makes life less scary and peaceful during the festive season; rather than having to run the risk of getting hurt by a random cracker that is thrown up in the air on the street side.
 
We may have read or heard umpteen number of posts or news-bits on safety tips during Deepavali; yet not many realise the havoc that uncontrolled fire-cracker bursting sessions can wreck. While fire-crackers are just one of the many ways of celebrating the joy of Deepavali each year, the flip side to it is, to see a lovely row of lamps, beckoning Goddess Lakshmi home.






Wishing you all a happy and safe Deepavali.

A post on posts (exactly 300 words, I promise, excluding these words within braces)!

Good morning! 

Here I am before my  desktop; just after my strong cup of filter coffee.  Its taste still lingers in my mouth; while my mind grapples with thoughts about writing the next post. Having resolved to write everyday ( it could be just about anything that strikes my mind), I see a mixture of thoughts, garnished with a huge question mark , that looms large all day. Writing to me is a holistic approach of changing the way I perceive day to day events.  It is quite a liberating experience and gives me a great sense of gratification. It is one act during which I can put the best of my repertoire to use in an unabridged fashion; it also paves way to enhancing my vocabulary.  

Nonetheless, it is all easier said than done I must admit. To translate these set of thoughts into words and typing them out amidst the errands that I need to run day in and day out, is quite challenging. I may not be typing or writing all the time, there is a prelude to it though.  The conceptualization that needs to go into it sans any mundane distraction plays a pivotal role. That is the midpoint that I have been looking for; synonymous to a soul-searching exercise.  So when everything is conducive,  that is I have decided to turn off the mobile data on my android, I have put the day’s cooking to rest, et al, I can still smell filter coffee in my mouth;  there is this certain stoppage to the free flow of thoughts and words. I tell myself, “I thought you wanted to write more, what went wrong?” I feel am in a labyrinth trying to wade my way out...I ask myself: “Where’s that lost connection?”

Joint versus Nuclear

Disclaimer: This is not a post that draws up a debate on joint versus nuclear family; it is purely about my experience of growing up in a joint family and then moving onto a nuclear family.

4 months-14 years, that’s the tenure of my stint with the joint family. I know not how the other families functioned, ours was an orthodox, Palakkad Iyer joint family, trying to get ends to meet, coping up with rising prices, et al. That was part of the game; it taught us all how to be responsible and was a true test to be able to survive under any financial circumstance. Not once have I felt sorry about my situation, for there were people going through tougher times.

I have no siblings, that means lot of space and freedom for me; yet was put to the test of sharing, for obvious reasons. When you are used to growing up in a certain familial condition, you would be fully wary of every nuance; adapting to changes, would just be second nature then. On the contrary, if you are given all the space and freedom and did not have to be bothered about anything that was concerning, and then moved back to an orthodox joint family, you sure are to see the Pandora’s box opening up!

Having said this, I certainly have not had a bed of roses during my childhood, I learnt quite early,”Nay! The roses had thorns too!” While the rose was the protective shade of grandparents, the thorn was the constant restriction as a child to do things I wanted. Sure, I did not once feel sorry about what I had to go through; it was a learning experience, free of cost!

I could not cuddle up with mom or dad as a child whenever I wanted; for they were too busy going about their daily chores. That did not really matter to me, neither did I go into a study about other families. This is how it shall be, I had to constantly tell myself. Luckily, I had books and grandparents for company. Today, I’ve grown up to embrace solitude as a rare gem, I keep saying this in most of my posts, thanks to the early learning lessons. We, as a joint family, witnessed the chronological growth of inventions coming to our family! First Mr.Graham Bell, followed by Mr.Baird, et al...! It was an overwhelming experience when I first spoke through the telephone at our Madras home, a pistachio green coloured land phone whose number I shall never forget, 6427227! Talking about the television that occupied a stand in the center of the hall, it always remained elusive, thanks to the strict upbringing. TV-viewing was restricted to watching a daily news bulletin, and perhaps Mahabharata on Sundays. Once the program was over, the crowd would disperse from the hall, we would not crib about the TV being switched off, we would only happily return to our daily routine. The advent of the cable TV network made no difference either; for I was already adapted to a certain style of TV-viewing and would not crave for anything more. Unlike most homes where the parents decide to plug out the cable network whilst examinations, mine did not have to resort to any!

The orthodox Palakkad Iyer family meant chanting a lot of shlokas and abiding by various customs and rituals; including staying out of touch, sometimes sight,during menstruation. I still recall days when I stood out with a stainless steel cup and saucer for my filter coffee! Learn to adapt, is what I had to constantly keep telling myself. These were practical learning lessons which make for some good prose to be written today! If there is any reason I have been able to memorize and still remember most of the Vishnu Sahasranama, it has to be because of the constant chanting that used to happen at the backdrop; it automatically gets into your subconscious, helping it linger forever. Thanks to my uncle, whom I fondly address as periappa, I am rooted to my shlokas, to a large extent despite having moved out of the joint family. Imagine being rocked to sleep with the likes of “Achutham Keshavam, Rama Narayanam..”, that’s how obsessed the family was to all the shlokas and verses!

What  I have lost in the bargain though, is witnessing the glorious days of the Indian cinema back in the 80’s and early 90’s. I was way behind in terms of my repertoire of the retro music that raked the moolah back then! Of course, as a child I did not crib about it, yet now feel at a heavy loss. Nonetheless, music per se has no boundaries and limitations. Regardless of what I had missed to see and hear in the past, I have my trusted transistor, covering up for the loss.

When I moved out of the joint family in early 2000, it was quite a liberating experience. To say the least, I had easy access to my parents; they were for ME, and had no sibling or cousin to be shared with! In the retrospective, when I ponder over these life events, it is a wonderful feeling of having had a seasoned cocktail, absolutely just the right concoction.

Mirror

(Muse Courtesy: Sylvia Plath)

A reflection that is so blatant
Knows not how to sing tales of lore
Only spits out the truth always.
Perceptions aplenty I may have about my looks,
Yet how am I to know how I look?
Dark, dusky, fair,
How would I know?
Pretty, Ugly, Charming,
How would I know?
Are the tresses messy, how would I know,
Sans the veritable pal hanging on the wall?

From this silver screen
Spring up dreams with wings on fire
I can confide in him, 
In return, he would emerge as my confidante.
He sees me mature
Day by day
He gets a glimpse of my first shade of grey,
He catches me inhibition-less!
He watches me throw tantrums at him
I could break him into pieces,
Not an iota of lie would be part of his reflection
He is the reason for many a dejection;
Yet has had many a girl falling for him
For he is always precise!

He went missing for a while from office
Oh how his pals missed him!
He was all peaceful staying away,
He was holidaying, was worry-free;
For he did not have to spend time
Convincing his visitors on how they look.
He laughs from within the silver crystals
Wonders all day how  mad his friends are!
He is back post his sabbatical,
Up and running, going about his daily job,
As always, precise, with no premise! 

 

When the three met up for some Filter Coffee: Sky, Change and Rosary

The sky has been behaving quite strange in the last three days here in Chennai. Thursday night was a visual delight, when the moon was out in full to say,”hello friend, good evening!” Yes indeed, not sure if it was Pournami on Thursday, for I don’t keep track of all that, but the sight was quite a delight. I stretched my arms right up towards the sky and managed to get a few clicks of the moon. Just as I finished that, I could see the stars were out too, the sky was unusually clear. It was almost 11 in the night when I was heading home that night, and for a time like that, it is usually all dark and you could only see a dim glow of the moon. That night, the sky had worn a picturesque look; I could really feel the blue hue from the sky; with the moon and the stars illuminating the sky.

I returned home with an unusual air of confidence, I thought the skies were opening up to new possibilities, and were quite symbolically throwing hints at me that it’s time for change. After all, as Sir Newton said, “change is the only thing that is constant!” I just had to embrace change and become friends with him, perhaps have some filter coffee with him and understand where he was trying to lead me to. Not that I dislike whatever I did in the last 8 plus years, I somehow felt my thinking capacity wasn’t at its best, I should admit. This could be majorly attributed to my nocturnal, sedentary job! It’s not been long since I moved in to regular working hours, I already feel nightmarish about the night shifts that I was engaged to, for 8 plus years! Phew! I am glad am out of it! 

Having had the opportunity of seeing more of daylight, I have awakened to some wonderful world of scope and potential, inviting me for filter coffee everyday!  Take writing for example, I can’t imagine how sluggish I was, exactly a year ago, I was constantly accused of wearing a sleepy look all the time. What was I to do, my job demanded me to be bright at nights, that when I get back home after a tiresome ‘night’ at work, I only wanted to crash, hit the sack at the first opportunity. Though writing has been my hobby, quite honestly, I did not feel like doing anything other than sleeping. I recall sleeping for 16 hours straight! Oooohhh! Anyways, sunlight means a lot to me now, and has helped me catch up with many things that I missed all these years. These may be trivial things, but they give me immense gratification. Eg., to me my first cup of filter coffee has to be that perfect blend, strong and less sugar! Above all, I need to wake up from a good night’s sleep, feel the fresh smell of the toothpaste in my mouth, with my stomach grumbling slightly, and then I take the first sip of filter coffee for the day off my stainless steel cup and saucer, strictly! Wow one of the best ways to begin a new day! This could certainly not be relished if you’re back from tiring night at work! 

The rains have always been one of my muses too...Each time it rains, it is a pure feeling of nostalgia, that gives me an adrenaline rush. I understand, in a place like Chennai that has poor disaster management systems, people don’t quite want to welcome the rains. They only crib and think about the after-effects. But if you just let loose and embrace it as part of the changing seasons in the city, considering that we have only 3 variations in the city, hot, hotter and hottest; rains make you forget all pain! Rains mean change to me. I am not in Cherapunji or Spain to be soaked in some rainy gloom all day. The dark clouds make me want to think more and transform into a mode of introspection. Now is the time we have the rain Gods doing some justice, we have had the north east monsoon doing the rounds, lo and behold! Chennai has had some showers! A good day indeed to step into introspection, I have done some math with myself, and may soon know if it was futile or fruitful. In the process though, I have earned a rosary, that shall ever remain etched in my mind and heart; what a way to end the introspection, quite symbolic indeed!

Letting go

Bundles of thoughts and emotions stacked up right there in the deeper corners of mind

They have been fed well and balmed with preservatives

There is a certain dogma that we are incessantly obsessed with

We can never for  once,  let go!

We are too busy pleasing the world and forget that we even exist

There is a heart that beats all day and night not forgetting its function for a slightest second

There is a temple called your body given by the Lord

There is a face that is the index of the mind

That  glows like the beautiful moon

We forget them all  and are busy convincing the world

Far away from the madding crowd and din

There is a world of subtlety with finer nuances

Just let go and learn to embrace every moment

Sometimes company could be asphyxiating

Solitude is a great healer

Mate,  pray its different from loneliness

No bling can match up to this ring of solitude

From solitude emerges “solace”

You don’t have to wait for another birth to fulfill your dreams

It has to be at this time, now is the time!

Dreams need not be big ones

It could be as candid and simple as wearing something comfortable!

Whatever it may be, tell yourself, just  let go and be yourself..!